ambition in nowhere

Title: ambition in nowhere

Placing my cheek on a paritally cupped left hand together with tiring eyes fixed on the computer signalled that i was thinking hard what to write for my current post. i have gone to look at fellow friends' blogs in an attempt to give myself some inspiration to write.

then, i thought of my ambition in life all of a sudden. since young, i have never thought of becoming a businessman or anything related to business. i thought i would be a scientist or inventor since science and maths have always been my favourite. What's more, i have a grandmother who formally owned a chinese 'bao' factory which was a family business so i thought i should change line and do nothing related to business. unfortunately, a couple of years ago (which is 2005, exactly 2 years back), i have erased that ambition from my list of missions.

That few hours of thinking had me picked up Business option in tertiary insititution. the today me is filled with passions over business.

i have got plenty of questions in my head:

- how am i going to carry out a business with limited or no capital?
- how am i turn really wealthy and play the game of business to my advantage?
- am i going to reach my impossible goals in the years to come?

I have suddenly liked to read business sections, Business Times and my favourite orange colored paper - Financial Times.

Then i asked myself:

- how do i invest in the funds mentioned in the papers?
- how do i invest in the stock markets?
- how do i apply my knowledge?

All of these i am curious to know but how do i go about to learn and acquire them as knowledge in me, that's an obstacle. i want to really apply the business skills i have learnt briefly.

the feeling in me written down in words:

"now i feel passions of achieving my goals in my youth years, but will it ever become a reality?
i am afraid of the terrifying truth that i cannot make it happen. faith i have may die out as stamina would to a runner in a race. restored confidence may only buy time but not the sought after results. a person of years of been-through shall enlighten yours truly. but will the person of significance really appear?"

That's how i felt i have spent time the last 8 years of my life - confident but not fully in my ability.